Planning a wedding is pretty basic
You have $X budget, X number of guests, and X number of months to pull this big event together.
OK, OK, I know it’s a lot of work – Hello? Second full-time job? But you’re competent and capable, and you know how to hire the right people and get the help you need.
It's relationships that make wedding planning so hard
It’s group-work with your nearest and dearest – a committee of loving and well-intentioned, but still challenging people.
Bottom line: wedding planning requires high-wire diplomacy.
You need psychological skills -- or your engagement will be harder and unhappier than it needs to be
When you’re in the fishbowl of wedding planning, it can be nearly impossible to have any perspective at all about what’s going on.
That’s how The Bride Whisperer can help
Nancy’s Mom – a lovely, kind woman before Nancy’s engagement – had turned into a brittle, nitpicky, critical, wedding-obsessed nag. In every phone call or visit, they discussed the wedding, and the conversations always ended with either Nancy or her Mom feeling hurt by the other. Their formerly close and comfortable relationship was now a source of conflict and pain for both women.
In our 90-minute video Bride Whisperer consultation, Nancy explained in detail the history of their relationship and when and how it had turned south.
I gave Nancy 5 actions to improve her engagement
- Set weekly appointments with her Mom for wedding-planning conversations, so their interactions don’t revolve only around the wedding.
- Determine which aspects of the wedding Nancy wants to have complete control over, and which she could hand over – willingly and completely – to her mother.
- Give Mom complete control over those tasks. Nancy to show enthusiastic interest, support, and gratitude.
- Call and visit Mom to nurture the relationship and to have normal experiences together.
- Discuss the changing nature of their mother-daughter relationship. Clearing the air about the deeper dynamics both are feeling of grief and loss really helps.
Nancy put these actions into place
“But after a few weeks of sticking to our scheduled wedding-planning meetings and calling her ‘just because,’ the warmth and closeness has returned to our relationship.